Yes, this week was hard and I am struggling just a little. Thursday we had our conference of the mission and it was good but just left me feeling sad and that I wasn´t doing enough. I mean it was really good. It was about vision and what our vision was for our mission. But since I have come here especially in this area, I have not been feeling complete when I end the days. I have been feeling like we can do so much more. I have been praying a lot and searching the scriptures like a mad man and I feel that I haven´t gotten a definite answer what I should do. But on Saturday, I just told Heavenly Father that I wanted to be happy and that this was my plan, to be happy and do my best.
Plus it was hard because this week Rosicler had her interview but we only could teach her on tuesday or something and so we didn´t get a chance to prepare her. Also when we invited her to be baptized she said she wanted to but wanted to wait longer. She didn´t want to be baptized that next sunday. Knowing this, we still planned for her to be baptized and have her interview on Saturday. (If it was me, I wouldn´t have had the interview or plan for her to be baptized). I told my companion this but I also said, you are the senior companion, you make the decision of what we need to do and I will follow whole-heartedly and have faith that she will be baptized. She said, we are going to have the interview but if she says no, she won´t be baptized. So we take our District leader with us to her house. We start talking with her about baptism, she still wants to wait longer and then our disctrict leader said to Rosicler, can we go talk. So they go and leave and talk for like an hour and he interviewed her and she passed! She even said she wanted to be baptized. But she wasn´t super excited but she said she wanted to be baptized. So she had said earlier that she wanted our bishop to baptize her but our bishop was traveling so he wasn´t able to. So saturday, we went back to to tell her to choose someone else and while we were there she said actually I don´t want to be baptized. So we talked to her for like and hour about why and her fear. I told her that it wasn´t our will if she was baptized but that it is the will of God. I told her that she needed to pray to know if it really was the will of God that she was to be baptized. She said she would pray that night.
So come the morning, we go and pick her up and our other investigators. We didn´t really talk with her much about baptism but she seemed happy. While we were walking to the chapel, Sis C asked about baptism BUT she didn´t follow up if she had prayed or anything. So we got to church and showed our investigators their classes (we had to leave to call more people about why they weren´t at church). We went back to the class and all the members were coming up to us and saying SHE DOESN´T WANT TO BE BAPTIZED, WHY ARE YOU BAPTIZING HER??? So we went and talked with Rosicler about what happened and she was crying and saying she didn´t want to be baptized. So she wasn´t baptized.
I mean this is not the way to do it. But my companion keeps doing this we need to be more organized! God doesn´t want us to push people to baptism. I talked with my companion after the church and I told I don´t like the way President Monteiro wants us to do this, I don´t agree. She asked me what part I would change, I said the INTERVIEW! If a person doesn´t want to be baptized that next sunday and after we have already talked with them about why and tried to help them overcome their fear, then we shouldn´t baptize or push an interview or whatever. I think this happened this way because of my companion. She isn´t very organized. I don´t think it is how presidente monteiro wants us to do things. There are people out there that are ready for baptism in two weeks and that want it as well.
This, I think, is what is upsetting me. I think. I don´t know. I am just a little bit confused and I never feel good when we do this kind of thing behind our investigators´ backs!
Anyways, I am good but haven´t been sleeping the best. I had a fever last night but I don´t now. I just am tired and a little stressed. But it is all good. We will push on.
I like Elder Cropper´s idea of putting a funny quote in the subject box. This was from two weeks ago when we were making calls during the day next to a bar. This drunk man recognized us as missionaries and actually was talking to me in english. He said that quote and some other things about how our religion is really beautiful. Actually it was a little bit sad to see him drunk. He works for the UN and lived in Salt Lake and now lives in Switzerland.
Anyways, this week was fine. Not the best week. We found a lot of new people this week but still I don´t think they are extremely interested. My companion wants to go back but if it was me, I wouldn´t waste our time with people that aren´t extremely interested. But she is the senior companion and she makes the decisions so I will follow!!!!!!
We taught this family last monday that has 12 children but they don´t all live there now because some are older. Most are adopted. They are a cool family. Very hip. People here remind me a lot of the US because people are really hip and have all the new gadgets.
We had a mission conference and it was really good. My mission president talked about vision and also that a mission is the best school that we will ever recieve. It made me think a lot about my vision for my mission and for my area. I think I can definitely sacrifice more for my area and sacrifice myself.
So for Christmas. I want the ingredients for puppy chow!!! And post it notes. They are really expensive here. And m and ms. They are also expensive. I like sam´s idea of giving a bom away but instead, invite someone to church for the christmas program!!! That is what I want. So for the puppy chow, the ingredients so I can make it!
So thank you for the letters!! I also got a letter from Grandma. Thank you!! Don´t worry about me. I will be fine. I love you all and miss you. Sorry my letter is really boring this week, it will be better next week.