Friday, May 2, 2014

Elder Cropper - April 7, 2014


Earthquake:
Felt nothing but the mission was on emergency alert for tsunamis. I couldn’t get through to my district because cellphone lines were down (what?) but in the end i did and they were all ready for the big fat nothing that came. 

A few days ago i think it was Friday there was a pretty big earthquake here. It was like a 6.2 or something like that. It lasted for about 30 seconds and was by far the biggest I’ve felt here on the mission. They said the center of the earthquake was in a city called Quillota close to where I am. It was super strong and actually scared me a little. I was just beginning to fall asleep at around 11:10 at night when it came. I was on interchanges with a new elder when it happened. It started out shaking but like really strong, so we both shot out of our beds and went down stairs and opened the door ready to go out if we needed to (that’s what they say you need to do lol) anyways the strong shaking stopped but after shocks continued for awhile at 2 min, 4 min, and 7 min. anyways they say that another big one is coming. That the plate has moved but not all the way. They say they are predicting a 9.0 (can you predict earthquakes lol?) anyways so don’t be surprised if there’s like another. 

Conference: Conference was really good, but didn’t fill my cup for some reason. I left with more questions then that I entered with. I think there wasn’t enough spiritual preparation on my part before hand. I loved all the talks on pornography and things like that (law of chastity, or word of wisdom things I don’t know) I kind of smiled to myself and was like yeah sweet those are all checked off the list. But then there were talks about becoming more of a disciple of Christ, showing more love, and things like that. I realized I’m somewhere in the middle of these two things. Sweet-I’m obedient, I don’t break the commandments or the mission rules. I try to work hard everyday so those things are all good, but the higher-level things like being more of a disciple of Christ? wow, I feel like that’s way over my head I mean I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that. Having more patience, kindness, love, charity, virtue, faith, hope, and others. Seems like an unsurpassable obstacle in my way, something that yeah maybe in 60 years I could understand a little on how I could go about achieving it. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel good, I’m pretty happy like a 7 if I had to rate it, but this very second do I feel like I’m burning with the power of God enough to I don’t know, heal someone, or do some other thing no. I just feel pretty normal like I’m just Elder Cropper the missionary who’s there to do a good job in his sector but maybe not great things. I don’t know maybe I just don’t understand the love of God for me or something, but that’s how i feel.

Training:

My companion is doing really well. I think he is getting used to the mission really well. He remembers things better so it must have been a getting used to the mission thing. When i think about the lack of Christ like attributes that I have and the problem that I feel i have in not knowing how to develop them, its probably because of my companion. He talks about Christ a lot and doing things in Christ’s way. I feel like I’m pretty prideful with him, that i just want to finish his training so I can start really doing what God wants me to do, which really isn’t how it is. I have patience issues with him. I obviously have correction issues with him because he gets frustrated if I correct him but not in a (Christ like way) how is correction in a Christ like way?
D&C:121 44. I feel like I follow it but I don’t know. Maybe I doubt myself too much and need to be more assertive but every time I start doing that people just end up feeling bad. 

I feel like I’m faced with a problem that I don’t know the answer too, when really I maybe even don’t understand the problem completely. Becoming more like Christ? How do you even go about doing that? 

Anyways probably just need to take a big chill pill

Anyways, I’m glad you all enjoyed conference. By the way I think I’m going to choose option 2. I think coming home that way will be more fulfilling. I would like to come home and be in my house, not have to show people around for a week and then go home. 

Thanks for the DL advice Dad. I feel kind of the same way about that as well, like I’m doing a good job as DL but I’m not like blow them out of the park either. How to go about being that way I don’t know--search for revelation? Maybe I don’t even need to be that way but I would sure like to.

Well I love you all, thanks for your letters. I hope you all have a good week. 

Love,

Elder Cropper

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